TMS Beer Project: Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Ale

With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' bullshit. We also like to plagiarize each other. In the same vein as the Wrigleyville Bar Project, we are proud to bring you another installment of the TMS Beer Project. The premise is simple: we review beers. Each rating will feature a variety of scores from 1-10 and comments from the bartender. This is a public service damn it. We don't want you to be the sucker who pays $15 for a six pack of some overrated Belgian cat piss. Now, we all drink massive amounts of beer so we know what we speak of. Each of us seem to have a favorite style of beer though. Will we be reviewing macrobrews like Bud and Coors? Oh you bet your Aunt Susie's ass we will. For purposes of this science experiment, and it is in the name of science, those will be the "control" group. Use them as a base line for when we review lesser known imports and microbrews. Without further ado, I bring you our next beer:

Bigfoot Ale

Brewery: Sierra Nevada Brewery

Type: American Barleywine

Receptacle: 12 ounce bottle

Drinkability (1 being Jim Jones' kool-aid, 10 being the nectar of the gods): 5
I'm gonna be polite and give it only a five. Even if you can handle the more complex beers, Bigfoot is a barleywine and takes shit to a whole new level. Either you can handle it, or you can't. There is no in-between here.

Heartiness (1 being fresh mountain spring water, 10 being a pureed British steak infected with mad cow disease): 9
Don't get me wrong. It's by no means heavy like a stout. But I can honestly say this is the first beer that I can truly taste the alcohol when I drink it.

Intoxication (1 being your friend's weird pentecostal grandmother high on Jesus, 10 being Boris Yeltsin on a week long bender in the Crimea): 10
It's a barleywine folks, and if you aren't familiar with that family of beer let me just say, it'll fuck your life up. Bigfoot weighs in at a hefty 9.6 abv. Good to know if you plan on taking down a six pack in one evening.

Celebrities You May See Drinking This Brew: Adam Blank (once he's out of vodka), John Lithgow, Ron Perlman, Andre the Giant.

Affordability ($ being chicklets in Tijuana, $$$$ being diamond encrusted braised lamb shank from a trendy cafe on the Champs d'Elysee): $$: I don't remember what I paid for it. But it's Sierra Nevada and their beer is often on sale around here. It can't be more than what Arcturus paid for his Dos Equis Amber, which I might say was a pretty penny for Mexican beer.

Overall: 9.99
This shit is fabulous. It's good if you appreciate beer, and it'll get you drunk like none other. Just remember to not overdo it. Bigfoot is a large mythical beast, and like it's namesake this beer will ruin your fucking life if you don't respect it.