Spare Some Change? GFY!

Why do I feel the need to say, “I’m sorry.” when a beggar asks me for change? You know what, I’m not sorry. In fact, “Fuck you.” I understand in these tough economic times that some people are down on their luck, but fuck you and your begging.

I had a friend once that lived in Denver and made his living by panhandling. On a bad day he made about $30, on a good day he could make up to $200. That’s more than I make for an honest (most of the time) day’s work. My friend would then go back to his studio apartment at night, go out to the bars and then order delivery when he got home. He wasn’t homeless. He wasn’t destitute. He was just really good at asking people for money and figured he could make a lot more doing that than working at McDonald’s.

I also had a friend that got a job in downtown Chicago and passed the same homeless guy every day asking for a buck or two for a sandwich. So you what she did after a couple weeks? That’s right - she made a couple peanut and butter sammies and tried to give them to him the next day. He told her to fuck off and almost physically assaulted her for “insulting” him.

You know who I like? Beggars that aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. If you came up to me and said you wanted a couple bucks for a forty I would gladly reach into my pocket and hand you a five spot. Because you were honest.


And don’t ask me for a cigarette after I might have felt giving that day and handed over the change in my pocket. You might as well ask me for a small nugget of gold while you’re at it with the price of cigarettes.

So Heilman, Miles, Jeff ND, at the beginning of next year when you’re out of job don’t even think about asking me for my spare change as I pull out of Popeye’s (like how I turned this into a Cubs post?). One of these days I’m just going to punch you beggars in the face and then stab you and take the small fortune of quarters and dime bags of crack you have in your pockets.

Bear Down!