Barack Obama's VP is...

Speculation is at an all-time high as Barack Obama is expected to announce his running mate in less than 24 hours. Obama has confirmed that the decision has been made, and senior campaign staff are in the process of phoning those not selected. The announcement technically cannot be made until all runners-up have been notified. However, being based in the state of Illinois, and having thrice been arrested and removed from Sen. Obama's campaign office in recent days, we at TMS can confirm that the vice presidential candidate for the Democratic ticket is...

...Dave Otto.

Below are Mr. Otto's career statistics and accomplishments, along with a few quotes from Mr. Otto that we were able to have answered before the secret service ushered us away:

Re: The Environment: "I am aware of the environment".

Re: Healthcare reform: "I am of firm belief that Tommy John surgery should be covered universally, as well as rotator cuff surgery and treatments for tendinitis".

Re: The war in Iraq: "It's hot and hellish over there, like Miami without the nightlife. We need to bring those boys home".

Re: Campaign finance reform: "I never made more than a million bucks playing. But Obama is a money machine, and I'm happy to be on his coattails".

Re: Ron Santo's Hall of Fame candidacy: "I will press President Obama to push Ron Santo Hall of Fame legislation through Congress".

Re: The Dallas Cowboys: "We hope to strip them of the America's Team designation and give it to it's rightful owner, the Chicago Cubs".

Year	Team	G	GS	GF	W	L	PCT	ERA	CG	SHO	SV	IP	BFP	H	ER	R	HR	BB	IBB	JO	WP	HBP	BK	HLD
1987	Athletics	3	0	3	0	0	.000	9.00	0	0	0	6.0	24	7	6	6	1	1	0	3	0	0	0	-
1988	Athletics	3	2	1	0	0	.000	1.80	0	0	0	10.0	43	9	2	2	0	6	0	7	0	0	1	-
1989	Athletics	1	1	0	0	0	.000	2.70	0	0	0	6.2	26	6	2	2	0	2	0	4	0	0	0	-
1990	Athletics	2	0	2	0	0	.000	7.72	0	0	0	2.1	13	3	2	3	0	3	0	2	0	0	0	-
1991	Indians	18	14	0	2	8	.200	4.23	1	0	0	100.0	425	108	47	52	7	27	6	47	3	4	0	-
1992	Indians	18	16	0	5	9	.357	7.06	0	0	0	80.1	368	110	63	64	12	33	0	32	5	1	0	-
1993	Pirates	28	8	7	3	4	.429	5.03	0	0	0	68.0	306	85	38	40	9	28	1	30	4	3	0	-
1994	Cubs	36	0	7	0	1	.000	3.80	0	0	0	45.0	200	49	19	20	4	22	4	19	3	1	0	-
Career		G	GS	GF	W	L	PCT	ERA	CG	SHO	SV	IP	BFP	H	ER	R	HR	BB	IBB	JO	WP	HBP	BK	HLD
8 Years		109	41	20	10	22	.313	5.06	1	0	0	318.1	1,405	377	179	189	33	122	11	144	15	9	1	-

"......... "
-Dave Otto