The Gist: Game 108

Good (opens first beer) evening Cubs fans. In preparation for Thunderfist I'll be taking care of the gist tonight with a pseudo drunken jamboree. ESPN is showing the game tonight but I've been blacked out in favor of Comcast. Trying to decide which broadcast team I'd rather listen to is like asking me which Hanson brother I find the most attractive. Screw the delay, I'm turning on the radio. Cubs score two in the first, mostly due to Jason Kendall's extra 21st chromosome. The Ninja got into some trouble early in the first but escaped while giving up only one run.

At this point I don't know what's worse, listening to the "neighborhood Old Style guy" commercials on the radio or having to watch another Mummy preview or Viva Viagra sing-a-long (opens beer number two). Apparently it's Bud Selig's birthday today. He shares it with such Hollywood notables as Arnold Schwarzeneggar, Larry Fishburne, and Christopher Nolan. I'd rather have any of those guys running the league at this point. He did say Santo belongs in the HOF so I suppose I'll cut the birthday boy some slack.

-BREAKING NEWS-

LaTroy Hawkins is acquired by Houston for cash and an unnamed minor leaguer. I guess we can finally write off the Astros in 2008. Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful. NO YELLING ON THE BUS!

Dempster looks to have calmed down from earlier and is dealing in the 4th. 1-2-3 and goodbye inning number four. Too bad we can't seem to get anybody past second base.

Beer number three ushers in the bottom of the fifth and Dempster leads off with another K. Turns out Kendall can't throw anyone out or steal either. Manny Parra now has a double and a triple. Luckily they can't bring him home.

It seems like the pitchers are the only ones getting a good look at the ball tonight. Dempster singles to left. Soriano singles to go 3-3 on the night and Theriot drives one all the way to the wall to bring both of them home. Cubs up 4-1. That'll do it for Parra. Reed Johnson adds another single and brings home Ryan. Cubs up 5-1. Add to that a wild pitch and runners move up to 2nd and 3rd. Too bad that's all the damage that gets done.

Is there any reason the Brewers keep playing Hava Nagila at Miller Park? Is there a large Jewish concentration in Milwaukee that I'm not aware of? Does Penny Marshall still work at the brewery? Have another beer? Never ask a Navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already. Dempster keeps rolling and adds two more strikeouts to his total to end the 6th.

It looks like Dempster is going to be done after seven strong innings and nine K's where the only run he gave up was on a wild pitch. Chest bumps all around.



-MORE BREAKING NEWS-

Apparently there is a deal in place that would send Hermida, possibly Jed Lowrie and several strong prospects to the Pirates, Boston would get Jason Bay and John Grabow and Florida would end up with Manny and a prospect.

-EVEN MORE BREAKING NEWS-

Jason Bay does not equal Manny.

A double by Blanco and a single by Cedeno set the table with runners at the corners for Soriano in the top of the ninth...who is walked to load the bases. Mike Maddux heads to the mound. Note: Mike Maddux is not Greg Maddux so not to worry. Four consecutive balls later and the Cubs are up 6-1. Bob Uecker reaches for a new bottle of Jack. Fielder's choice to third and the Cubs lead 7-1. Rammy strikes out to end the inning. Enter Neil Cotts.

After striking out Braun, Cotts gives up a homerun to Fielder. Fly out to Johnson, two down. Fly out to left. Cubs win!

Now where is that broom...