The Gist: Game #100

Quick thought to kick things off: Can we "forget" Bob Brenley in Arizona. Just sort of overlook him when they're throwing the baggage on the plane tomorrow? Probably not I suppose.

Apparently Fukudome is trying out other players' bats. Talk about a guy that needs a Slumpbuster. If the bats fail, his interpreter tells us that he's going to start trying other players' wives.

Yuseirmo Petit is starting for the 'Backs. You know what that means; guarantee loss for the Cubs. We never fare well when we face middle relievers or rookies that are thrust on the mound. This graphic shows what I mean. Naturally, the Cubs are retired meekly in the 1st.

Jason Marquis. Can you imagine the glee in the Arizona clubhouse when they realized that after facing Harden last night, they get the pleasure of destroying Marquis tonight? Conor Jackson promptly hits a solo shot.

I love that when WGN shows a Scrubs commercial, they tell you that Scrubs is presented to you by Vagisil. Totally fits for Zach Braff.

This isn't really a drunk blog or a running diary of the game, I'm just shooting from the hip before I move on to other more important tasks, such as the Estelle Getty writeup.

Theriot in the top of the 3rd screws his hips and pulls a ground rule double. No part of the preceding sentence was meant to sound sexual. Fukudome then draws a walk, which is about as good as we can expect from him lately.

Fontenot triples, scoring DeRosa to put the Cubs on the board in this series. Hooray for Mike Fontenot. He very well could be the next Thunder Matt, the beloved gamer in all our hearts. God bless him and his big league cut.

Derrek Lee grounds into another double play in the 5th. The good thing is that for every double play, he's donating an additional $1,000 to his daughter's charity. With a little luck Leber's congenital amaurosis will be cured by the end of the season.

Good Lord our offense looks anemic right now. Len and Bob were just discussing Soriano and the possibility of him joining the big club and hitting leadoff tomorrow. Normally I'd be opposed to rushing him back, but at this point, on this road trip, I'm all for it. Someone needs to light a fire under the asses. If Lou won't do it, hopefully Soriano can.

For the love of...the Cubs heart allowing runs. My God, Marshall is shitting the bed at this moment. Orlando Hudson jacks one to make it 5-1 D'Bags. Why do the Cubs seize up and die in this ballpark? We're heading to the 8th and things are looking dire.

Yay, Daryle Ward with a meaningless solo homer. The Cub fans in the desert rejoice...but not for long.

I don't know, multiple D'Bag runs score in the eighth. I'm calling it a night with the score 8-2, but I leave you with this: