Party at Fatty Matty's

Oh Matt Leinart, you're incorrigible. Twenty five years old and still holding frat keggers at your house, home of your own two man frat "Eye Ama Douchebag", with your brah for life Nick Lachey...

While Kurt Warner was off praying quietly with his life-partner Brenda, you and Nick were laughing it up while pouring beer and god knows what else down the throats of 18 year old ASU freshman girls. Wait, 18 year olds can't drink can they? They can if they go to EAD!

Wouldn't you know those stiffs in Arizona who elected Barry Goldwater for half a century don't understand your need to have a good time? Just because you're supposedly the future of a long suffering franchise that looks like it may finally turn the corner, they jump all over your ass for looking like a total choad and breaking the law. Weak man...

Dan Bickley of The Arizona Republic was particularly rough on you, saying you and Lachey, "have become the male equivalent of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, somewhat laughable and always in search of the next party." Not cool.

From Left to Right: Your daughter after church, human petri dish Fatty Maddy Weinberg, Fatty Matty Leinart. Not pictured: Jessica Simpson's Ex.