War Criminal: Mark Prior and the Cubs Training Staff

We've got a special guest bartender today. My wife's cousin, who we will refer to as Max Foncito, has written a short little piece about the recent departure of Mark Prior.

When I saw the news that oft-injured Mark Prior signed with the San Diego Padres, I immediately called The Mirage Sports Book in Las Vegas and tried to put my entire life savings on the former Cub winning the Cy Young within the next 5 years. Please disregard the fact that my life savings now consists of car seats, cribs, changing tables and dirty diapers. That is a topic for a future War Criminal.

Prior winning the Cy Young. It isn’t a question of if, but when. The history of Cubs pitchers leaving and suddenly having Hall of Fame type numbers is all too well known.

I know, I know, the Cubs let him go. Who gives a shit.

Magically his bottle of HGH will work like a factory full of Asian kids in Southern California, and like Maddux before him, Cubs fans will be left looking at the ground and mumbling about what should have been.

Maybe the Cubs can re-acquire Prior in 2015 as a number 4 starter when he is well past his prime. Hopefully it will be just in time for the Cubs next crop of young pitching studs to come up and decide to flame out like this guy on a Friday night.