The Gist/Counter-gist

The Gist by Governor Gray Davis

Out here in LA, we don't have a flag with a W on it when we win, we play Randy Newman's I Love L.A.

Oh Carlos Zambrano, you angry emotional wreck you! Thank you for losing your composure after running through that stop sign. After the Soriano homer and obligatory Furcal error in the first, I expected the worst. Fortunately you fell apart and let the Dodgers hammer out a boatload of runs.

Andy LaRoche is going to be our savior at 3rd and he came through with a couple RBIs, Esteban Loaiza (whom I forgot LA even picked up) went a strong seven, and our new androgynous shortstop from the Renegade Province even got in some playing time.

To close, the umpires need their hearing checked after missing that foul-tip by Ethier and what the hell was the stink over the lights all about?


The Counter-gist by Chip Wesley

Blah, whatever. Randy Newman can kiss my ass. Wait till you face the awesomeness of Steve Trachsel and his mind-numbingly slow delivery. He'll handle the Dodgers no problem, you just wait and see, you jus-........ ah shit! I can't pump myself up for a goddamn Trachsel start! At this point I just hope we walk away with a fucking series split here.