The Gist/Counter-gist: Baseball History 101

The Gist by Governor Gray Davis

Start up the Randy Newman - Dodgers win again. No, thats not Chaim in that picture. At least I don't think its Chaim...

The Brooklyn Bridegrooms/Brooklyn Robins/Brooklyn Dodgers/Los Angeles Dodgers are guaranteed to leave the Windy City leading the all time series versus the Chicago White Stockings/Chicago Colts/Chicago Orphans/Chicago Cubs with a commanding three game lead out of 2015 played (Dodgers 1009 Cubs 1006). Why didn't the name "Chicago Orphans" stick? And how unoriginal is Charlie Comiskey? He just ripped off the name.

My once dead boys in blue look like they may make a run at the playoffs yet...


The Counter-gist by Chaim Witz

Why yes, that is me in the picture. And standing next me is none other than my father, Randy Newman...or is that Tommy Buzanis? Without the big mouth bass in hand it's hard to tell.

Here's a little known fact. Randy Newman actually wrote the last song played at my wedding reception. "(You Can) Leave Your Hat On" as sung by Joe Cocker. No joke. My whole wedding party and everyone else under 30 are dancing like idiots to outdated rap music and other tacky sing-alongs. Good times. The DJ, (I shit you not, it was Paula Poundstone) gets on the mic and says, "Allright everybody, last call. Last dance. Lets make a CRAZY one!" And then she throws on "(You Can) Leave Your Hat On". She might as well have thrown on a Nazi propoganda tape. Everyone kind of stood there for a minute and then all at once everyone got sad. The dancefloor emptied like a bottle of Tortilla Tequila on a dirty Mexican highway and that was that. So there's my Randy Newman story.

Oh yeah, the game. That's frustrating at best. I guess that answered the question that had been hounding Cubs fans everywhere, causing many a sleepless night: Is Steve Trachsel the answer? A better question might be: Is Steve Trachsel still alive? About as alive as the Cubs division lead. Barely.