Wrigleyville Bar Project

With the name Saloon included in our moniker, one could surmise that we here at TMS like to drinky drinky. One that would make such an assumption would be correct, thereby throwing out the whole, 'when you assume you make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' bullshit. We're here to profile some of the local watering holes around Wrigley, so that you aren't the poor sap who gets dragged into going to the Cubby Bear before the game, wherein you are soon left wondering how your life spiraled out of control so quickly. Tommy Buzanis has pledged to help out with this column, as he is no stranger to the bottle, but you can rest assured that those promises are as empty as his shot glass. So here it is, another sporadically timed, mildly entertaining column that you can only find here at the TMS. Actually you can probably find lots of info on Wrigley bars in a much more concise and helpful format, but that's neither here nor there. And so it begins.

Today's Bar: Murphy's Bleachers, 3655 N. Sheffield

Douchebag Factor (1-10, with 10 being this guy): 3

Who You'll See Here: Tourists, people looking to buy/sell tickets, girls with pink Cubs hats, 132 people wearing Derrek Lee jerseys, me

What to Order: Old Style, Bud Light, Jager

If you were to see a celebrity here, it would be: George Wendt, John Ratzenberger, Mark Grace

Website: http://www.murphysbleachers.com/

Summary: Murphy's is located directly opposite the entrance to the bleachers so it's one of the best places to hang out before the start of a game. Even on the occasional arctic day in the spring you'll find the place packed right up until the first pitch with fans competing to shell out $5 for a can of Bud Light or Old Style kept cold in a bathtub full of ice at the back bar. Don't worry, they hand out right-hand gloves to hold your beer.

The vast majority of Cubs fans can be divided into those that would rather go to The Cubby Bear and those that would rather go to Murphy's Bleachers. The preference can almost directly be linked to the type of beer you drink. The Cubby Bear is a Miller stop and Murphy's is Old Style and Bud territory.

There is a lot of memorabilia on the walls including jerseys and old pictures (even some of the Bears playing inside Wrigley) for people to look at when they aren't watching one of the many TV's facing every conceivable direction. Usually there is plenty of seating but on game days your best bet is to just mill around. Thursday is open mic night and there is always a set of bags next to the back bar ready for anyone that wants to play.

I used to live a half-block north of Murphy's so I was able to visit the bar during the crowded season and also when there was a foot of snow on the ground. It turns into a friendly neighborhood pub in the off season and it pays to make friends with the bartenders.

The food is pretty good and not too expensive. I'd recommend the tater tots. They must fill a deep fryer basket with them and pour them onto a plate for you because they could be considered a meal by themselves. I started to get the hang of their "diner slang" at the grill. For instance, my buddy ordered a plain hot dog and the guy yelled out "One Naked" to the cook. I ordered a Polish sausage with sauerkraut and it was a "Dirty Joe".

I also was able to play a part in a particularly fun event there last year: the Pinewood Derby. I hadn't built a car since I was in Cub Scouts and it was fun to see a bunch of alcoholics secretly shape and craft their pitiful little blocks of wood as if they were running wind tunnel tests for an F1 racing team. Here's a picture of my car.

Overall Murphy's is a great place for someone making their first trip to Wrigley as well as time-tested regulars. It's got something for everyone, the music is great, and you can't beat the location.

Thunder Matt Rating: 11 empty Old Style cans out of a 12 pack.